How Grief Gifted Me An Abundance Of Gratitude
Gratitude is a way of being, not a fleeting moment of appreciation.
Grief is an experience, not an emotion; certainly not as simple as a transient thought. Quiet observation offers the space for increased understanding of the boundlessness of interdimensional grief. I endeavour to listen to my Soul’s whispers; feel her sacred wisdom radiate through my body, the human portal. She invites me to practice intuitive discernment, rooted in compassion and empathy. I know she is eternal; expansive and multidimensional. A sense of knowing endows a faith in the creative architecture of countless human experiences; soul contracts orchestrated in counsel with soul-groups; teams of angels, guides and guardians. I trust they have my back, our backs. There is no fear there, at home.
Willing to open to our soul’s communication, we receive messages and guidance at our human point of readiness and need. Our souls each have their own unique vibrational signature. Mine speaks from her seat, from both the physical and ethereal plane, the heart chakra. In the daily manifestation of our human narrative, she pokes my gut instinct; the solar plexus. Nightly, in meditation, her wisdom is transported through the crown and third-eye chakras. Early last December, in the lucidity of post mediation a universal insight held its vibration:
Silence has a sound; the sound of Creation. Creation was born of the light that surrounds stillness. Stillness brings in the different sounds of silence, through our sense perceptions. Listening requires experiential learning in the stillness; the sounds of silence.
Grief can trigger a hyper-awareness. In the months prior and after John’s death, somatic meditation helped lull my anxious mind, affording enough clearance to sanction mind and body some rest. My meditation practices have since broadened their scope and function. Most notably, meditation is an avenue to receive support from my team. The most poignant has been the culminating result of embodying gratitude as an expression of my general disposition.
Gratitude for learning harnessed from our human experience shifts understanding beyond lexical semantic meaning. Gratitude is how our human aspect receives and expresses unconditional love, our soul’s essence. I don’t know in what other dimensions and realms my soul dwells; I am content to let that mystery be. She and her team will sometimes afford me a glimpse beyond the veil. What I remember I trust is relevant for me and the evolution of my human self. Late December, I emerged from meditation with a message, a feeling it was from Archangel Jophiel. I understood it as:
To quieten the mind is to notice and feel the sounds of Universal wisdom, and wisdom is merely another name for truth. And what is truth but the essence of who and what we are – Source in all its expansive expression. We, the messengers of Source, are present to guide you, with your expansion.
The Quantum Field of Universal Law explains how our choices and focused attention create experiences manifested through vibrational agreement. Love is not in vibrational agreement with fear, therefore the two aspects cannot align. Loss and grief are integral to the human experience. I accept John’s exit strategy as part of our soul’s contract. Nevertheless, that knowing doesn’t dilute the anguish of grief when she spontaneously washes over me. So, I intentionally decided to be hospitable to the sadness in grief; welcome her emotions with the same fond affection as when she presents to console with happy emotions. Choosing to perceive grief from a loving stance is how gratitude became a way of being, for me.
As with everything on this Earth plane, our bodies are organic; deteriorate and break, of their own accord. The desire to escape death is a human egoic construct, manifesting the energetic vibration of fear. Central to that endeavour is labelling sad memories as destructive to self and others. Accepting death as that which it is; the natural transition back to the ethereal plane, embraces the plethora of emotions that present in grief.
Grief has taught me gratitude for the gift of the totality and uniqueness of the human experience. The vibrational alignment of love that is born through grief manifests through a synchronicity of signs and messages from across the veil. Universal Law confers that resistance preferences an egoic stance; resistance to what-is, is fear based. A recent meditation revealed:
The swell of love and grief, it is the same tide. It is non-linear and cyclic, as is the Universe. There are seasons where grief’s wounds open, don’t resist. These wounds can manifest vibrational frequencies of love, you’ve already captured them.
How grateful I am, learning to listen and attune to disclosures from my soul and her benevolent team. Exercising my human free-will choice to focus on love in my grief trajectory has returned unanticipated joy in all facets of my life. Universal laws are beyond thought; our human beliefs. All choices manifest a vibrational agreement. Love begets love. Fear begets fear. Befriending grief offered me the impetus for remembering who I am, who we all are. In this new year, my soul has encouraged the practice of freedom. A flurry of messages this quarter relay this essential message:
The freedom to choose is your gift from the Universe. There are no rules, only guidance, in freedom.
I view my soul and her team’s messages as offerings, part of an ancestral legacy. Being privy to thought patterns that are not of her creation, she prods alignment of my human ego with her expanded purpose. Often her messages of wisdom precede any need I have yet to conjure. She holds the blue-print. Her freedom teachings subsume my human challenges, inclusive of boundaries:
Boundaries don’t need to be set ... they evolve and permeate around your ways of being. You have nothing to hide, nothing to fear and nothing to defend.
I continue to surrender to the all of grief, grateful for the magnanimous guardianship that emanates from within. I choose to adjourn in the ubiquity of nature and her nurturing landscapes, for she too is a keeper of universal wisdom. When my body craves the elements, she’s calling for a grounding connection. This calling is the glue that binds my friendship with Di. Last week, on our regular beach and brunch date, I found the wind a bit too blustery, so I ditched my paddle-board for my boogie-board. My 58 year old self is, without exception, transported to her 8 year old self in the waves. The corrugated ride the boogie board affords; the rough and jerky shifts in movement; the skidding halt when the ride is interrupted by the shoreline; the frigidity of the Autumn waters; the glaze of cool as the water infiltrates gaps in my wetsuit; the pastel shades and movement of colour as the sun persists in filtering around the clouds. Bliss and joy ensue. As I frolicked, a question, seemingly out of nowhere, popped into my head:
Are you so sure of yourself that you are so sure of me?
It somehow made me smile, yet swiftly dissipated with the wind and waves. At brunch, it popped in again. Smiling, I asked Di the question in the quirky tenor that it was delivered. A shared laugh at the phrasing and back to whatever we were discussing. During my drive home it popped in again, and a couple more times during the week. I hadn’t given it too much thought. Signs from across the veil are not for the filter of the overthinking and analytic mind. Rather, they are translated through the physicality of the body. I trusted it would make sense sometime later. This was not the first time I have received signs where the synchronistic connection wasn’t immediately apparent.
This morning, as I reversed the van out of the driveway for this week’s beach and brunch date with Di the question popped in, again! Not yet a kilometre down the road, the a-ha moment was revealed. In my mind’s eye I could visualise John’s beseeching smile, Finally! I felt him laughing. John had offered his answer, framed as a question to one I had asked in meditation a few weeks prior! Just keeping you on our toes, his playful energy relayed. My question had been, how best to respond to people who project gratuitous advice re how others should process their grief? Specifically, I was seeking assistance to respond in ways that align with my soul, not my reactive ego. People who are grieving are already vulnerable enough, heeding unsolicited commentary on how one manages one’s own grief can be wearisome.
Ask a question and have faith it will be answered when you are ready to receive it. When I shared the reveal with Di at brunch today, the laugh was on me. It is glaringly obvious to me now of course; the phrasing and delivery of the question-answer reeked of John! Courtesy of rough surf, the boogie board was back out for me again today. We were grateful for the gift of another sunny Autumn day despite the cooling temperatures. I understood why John chose to drop his message while I was in a joyful happy place last week and why the confirmation was received as I headed back there today. Not all demonstrations of grace need to be gentle; they do, however, need to be kind!
In the event of a next time; when someone’s ego feels entitled enough to cast aspersions on how I, or anyone else should process their grief, John’s question-answer will undoubtedly hover on my lips. Will it spring forth? Only if I can do it from a place of kind humour, from my soul’s perspective. Thank you John, I love you.
The enchantment and mystery of this life continues; with grace, with gratitude, with laughter, with joy … with John.
_____________________
In a continuing collaboration with John, the following poem emerged, as per usual fashion; in the immediate space of post meditation, June 2023. The poem seems fitting for this post, as it references the benevolent team of guides and my developing familiarity with them.
The Internal Multiverse
I know I am not alone ...
With gratitude, love and grace,
Thank you for comforting me and consoling me;
Indulging and humouring me,
Guiding and teaching me.
I know I am not alone ...
When I go within, not without.
A kaleidoscope of colours;
Energies that speak from your world to mine,
The vibrational language of love.
I know I am not alone ...
The expansive multiverses blossom;
Commissioned dominions of the Angels.
Celestial spheres of existence unravel,
Eternal symposiums of Oneness.
"Ask a question and have faith it will be answered when you are ready to receive it."
This is essential.
So much in this post I resonate with! I will be coming back to this, and probably quote some in the future. Much gratitude for your working with grief 💗🙏