Conscious Awareness — Putting Misconceptions To Rest

When trying to meditate we can be do-ing what we are trying to get away from — an overthinking mind.

Me reading C.J’s children’s poem — Dancing Fairies — at a poetry reading on Friday August 30.

This post is a spill from my August 24^th post, Rock To Sleep — A Lullaby Of Being. When the titular thought dropped in, the yet to be posted poems that John and I wrote during 2022 and 2023 came to mind. Yet, as so often happens with these posts — it took direction in the writing and swung to an intentional message of trust:

Trust that you are the creator of your being and its multidimensional realities. We can be simultaneously present in all of the dream-state realities we imagine to create.

And then in the aftermath of last week’s post, My Grandfather’s Hands Rest On The Gates Of Trauma,

C.J. Heck

— wisdom keeper commented, Simone ...  I know expansive Awareness when I read it — and there came a moment of clarity for me, as often happens when I read C.J.

And there is the gift of C.J Heck’s writing— her capacity to say so succinctly — what knowing is —without conceptualising it.

Awareness is punctuated in my posts — surrender and acceptance of Universal Truth. Conscious Awareness is a state of be-ing beyond our conceptual notions of — our human propensity and want to box, classify, imprison, inhibit ... etc; via notions of mainstream spiritualism. The blurring of lines between what we conceptualise as mainstream thought and spiritualism has been poking at me for a while. Remember the bee’s dick?

Like other concepts, spiritualism can often denote an expected way of do-ing to be-ing. I have mentioned this before.

In Humanity Isn’t Trying To Evolve Out Of Here, my wonder is expressed as:

You can close all the doors of spiritual bypass in their mainstream mandates. Mainstream spirituality which dictates that we should be evolving to transcend humanity; our body and its guide to our human-aspect ...  the ego ... including transcending the Earthly plane ...  is a fiction of their Human Reality.

If you have followed my trappings over the last 7 months, you will not help but notice I am not schooled in matters of spirituality, including meditation. My foray into this was not out-sourced. My introduction to meditation was previously explained in, How Grief Gifted Me An Abundance Of Gratitude:

In the months prior and after John’s death, somatic meditation helped lull my anxious mind, affording enough clearance to sanction mind and body some rest.

I had not studied meditation nor have I since —  or ever graced the floor of a yoga class. That is probably a good thing — for me — as it means I am not having to adapt to set routines of expectations or preferences of an instructor.

A life time in the education machine has taught me to be a better teacher — and student of — self-autonomy — agency.

C.J re- affirmed this with another synchronous bite of wisdom in an additional post,  Our Awakening Is Ours:

Awakening is our discovery within of the Truth and nature of our Consciousness. We are the only ones who can bring us to this realization. In Consciousness, we are both teacher and the one taught.

As with other aspects of my expanding conscious awareness — I have learned through exploration more than trying to fit into a pre-determined squeeze of mandates.

I am appreciative for what spirituality offered me and I have written elsewhere about gratitude for those few  spiritual teachers who support the transience of seekers — knowing fluidity is the route to discovering the permanence of universal truths.

The Universe is the greatest teacher because she responds to our individual point of need. We may therefore receive her truths in many different ways. And I am giving the Universe a feminine pronoun simply because that sits well — for me — and she doesn’t mind what we call her — she supports us in any way we need to — feel into listening.

Meditation has been central to my ways of be-ing —  expanding my conscious awareness.

Meditation helps stop resistance because resistance is in your mind — therefore it is also in your body. I have learned that you can meditate and open portals to receive universal wisdom — inclusive of thought and body awareness.

Some of my ways of being are heavily embodied — some are not. What is common amongst them —  intention to receive and no expectation of when what or how that may present. Freedom to explore — and trust — faith that what needs to be received will arrive when ready.

So, C.J’s wisdom has led to yet another — a-ha — moment of ubiquity — acceptance of what I practice and how I practise it. The current states of be-ing that open portals for me — in expanding conscious awareness — don’t require conceptual labels of thought  — they just are ways of being that have lead me to the momentum of expanding conscious awareness. For me —  and I am emphasising — for me — because we are each met at our point of need. Trust your intuition. For me — these states have expanded my conscious awareness:

·       Pre-dawn states of waking — and other moments of quiet resting

·       Dream sate meditation — lucid dreaming

·       Sleep state meditation — subconscious dreaming

·       Drop-ins: at any given moment of the day — in the car, walking, on the water. These can present as a response to an intention or question asked — in any of the above, or a nudge — that is further clarified in any of the above.

What I have noticed about each of these states is that my mind — does not — have to be completely empty of thought for me to receive a truth from the universe — my team. I am able to notice my thoughts without paying them attention — meaning I allow them to pass through while keeping focused intent in the dream-like state.

The other notice is the energy in and around my body in each of these states. Quietening the mind  — for me — doesn’t mean I am unaware of my body’s sensations. In these states, I can feel that the fragment of my soul accompanying this human experience is more expansive than the body. I become acutely aware of my energy signature — my soul — whilst nestled in my heart —  utilises my whole body and beyond — in its expression of my — humanness.

As Archangel Jophiel offered in a meditation (from the How Grief Gifted Me An Abundance Of Gratitude, post:

To quieten the mind is to notice and feel the sounds of Universal wisdom, and wisdom is merely another name for truth. And what is truth but the essence of who and what we are – Source in all its expansive expression. We, the messengers of Source, are present to guide you, with your expansion ...

In another post, What Grief Taught Me About Healing, I understood the Universal law — that in the asking the answer is given. In responding to, what is healing?

We will tell you what it is not! It is not returning to a pre-condition. Any desire to return to a pre-condition stems from a perspective of lack ... which is fear. Love is healing because it fosters an acceptance of what is ... to show courage and resilience when you stumble ... for you will stumble ... and we will catch you.

Semantics aside — I refer to the processing of my human aspect of grief as — recovery. As

Nurse Kristin

says — I so relate to this sentiment — different plot — same destination:

There is not going back for me, not ever. I have a lot of love for the girl I once was, but I wouldn’t trade places with her not for a minute unless it was to slap her.

This aging girl — fairy crone — me — is so very grateful for her life; her human love and loss — and whatever else it brings before John meets me on a rainbow and whisks me off to the table, or picnic rug — or the pub — to again plan and plot another human life time — with the team.

Deep gratitude for this community. Thank you for listening and sharing  the wisdom of your stories — your narratives — your illusions. Thank you C.J, for walking with me and holding me, and so many others in this space.

I am going to finish with one of the poems I mentioned at the beginning of this post. One of the poems written post mediation — post journeying with John through the universe — our home.

With love and gratitude, my learning continues.

John and team, thank you for the guidance. I love you.

And so it is.

This poem was written in the waking dawn of the 3^rd anniversary of John’s death, 2022. This was what I remembered of our dance that night.

Bliss

Whispers of bliss —

golden orbs,

floating bands of

angelic energy

swept me in lofty ascension

amongst cushioning waves

of white light —

escorts — safe-guards

of the meeting place.

Ripened ripples of

violet and dappled gold —

sanction our celebratory

dance —

an intensifying spiralling

white light — a knowing

of divinity.

Glimpses of what awaits —

hints of bliss —

home.